


Vanity and Pride

by glitterlarries



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fashion & Models, DJ Niall, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Hate to Love, Light Angst, Louis POV, M/M, Makeup Artist Louis, Model Harry, Model Zayn, Recreational Drug Use, and it isnt mutual, designer liam, kind of, side Ziam, the hate is probably more mild dislike
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-08
Updated: 2016-09-08
Packaged: 2018-08-13 23:36:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7990366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitterlarries/pseuds/glitterlarries
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“And you have more important faces to remember than the one who helps you get all pretty for the people you actually care about impressing, yeah I get it.” Louis says, raising an eyebrow and shaking his head. Unbelievable.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“No, it’s just-” Harry tries to explain.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Look, it’s fine. You’re definitely not the first conceited model to inadvertently snub me, don’t you worry.” Louis tells him, and a part of him wants to go full-on Made in Chelsea and throw what’s left of his vodka tonic in Harry’s stupid pretty face.</i>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>For this prompt:   ‘Harry is a model and Louis is a makeup artist that won't stop distracting him when he's trying to do a shoot.’)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vanity and Pride

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Summer_roses](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Summer_roses/gifts).



> I went with this prompt because as much as I liked the others, I was slightly daunted by them! 
> 
> I was a pinchhitter, so I did the best I could with the time I had and I'm actually quite pleased with how this turned out. 
> 
> I know very little about modelling or the fashion industry so I'm really sorry if this is woefully inaccurate! 
> 
> Title comes from Pride and Prejudice.
> 
> I hope you enjoy! xx

Louis Tomlinson puts make up on models for a living. He loves it. He loves every single thing about his job with one slightly major exception: he doesn’t especially like most of the models. They’re not all bad, some are even pretty okay. Louis’ friend Zayn, who Louis basically owes most of his success to, is pretty okay. Some of the others are also pretty okay, often they can even be fun as well. It’s just that in Louis’ experience, more often than not the models are twats.

 

Right now, he’s doing the make up on someone who is the epitome of twattish model. Harry Styles hadn’t even made eye contact with him as he’d sat down in the make up chair and was now listening to music through headphones and writing in a stupid pretentious looking journal. Probably about how fucking deep and misunderstood he was by all, how shallow the world is and how people only want him for his pretty face. That’s probably true as well, Louis thinks, he hasn’t exactly been presented with a glowing charm or personality that’s for sure.

 

Louis met Harry for the first time a month or so ago at the first stage rehearsals for London Fashion Week. Louis had smiled a lot and been his charming (even if he did say so himself) self, had even made what he was sure had to have been the most overused joke Harry’s ever heard about how his surname is very appropriate for his line of work and… and thinking about it, that was probably why Harry had rolled his eyes and said very little in response. Still, manners cost nothing and if Louis was Harry he’s have just laughed a fake laugh and then changed the subject. Not being a dickhead isn’t exactly difficult, so Louis has very little respect for people who don’t even at least try not to be.

 

Today is the last day of LFW and after doing Harry’s make up now for several shows, Louis’ opinion on him has not changed. He’s still a twat. He still hasn’t said more than four words to Louis at a time and the worst part is that Louis knows it’s not that Harry can’t be friendly, it’s just that he can’t be bothered. Because Louis’ seen the way Harry is with other models, designers, photographers, and with the people in charge. He’s friendly, he smiles, he makes small talk. Like Louis can see how fake and forced it all is and how dead inside Harry looks, but at least he fucking tries. The fact that he can’t be fucked to try with the hair and make up team, presumably because they’re ‘beneath’ him, says an awful lot to Louis about who he is as a person.

 

-

 

Louis is at a party with the rest of the crew and make up team to celebrate the end of this year’s Fashion Week. He is slightly tipsy and is having the time of his life debating which NAKED palette is best (3, obviously, though he does have a soft spot for all the drama of the Vice palette) and catching up on the few bits of industry gossip he hadn’t been aware of already. He’s also trying not to look too bored as one of the hairstylists whines about how her blow dries keep getting criticized by the higher-ups. Louis has seen some of these blow dries and he can honestly think of nothing nice to say about them so he does his best to keep his mouth shut.

 

Louis opens a text from Zayn inviting him to one of the fancier afterparties that’s going on nearby. He’s not sure whether he wants to go or not. Parties like that are always an excellent networking opportunity, but because of that they’re more like being at work than being at a party. They also entail a lot of sucking up to and putting up with rooms full of egos so enormous the air gets kind of thick.

 

Louis goes outside for a cigarette and weighs up his options. He really should go to this other party. It’s stupid to not grasp every opportunity he can get in this business and at least seeing Zayn will be nice. It’s only ten minutes away so Louis decides to walk rather than get a taxi as the weather’s not bad and the walk will sober him up properly.

 

Once he gets close to the venue, Louis sends a text to Zayn to meet him outside. It’s always a bit of a gamble asking Zayn to do things like this, but Louis has constant faith in his friend’s ability to be reliable at least some of the time. Louis’ optimism turns out well, as when he turns the corner Louis sees Zayn slouching by a wall smoking and looking effortlessly cool.

 

“Hiya Lou, y’alright?” Zayn asks, giving Louis a quick hug and kiss on the cheek.

 

“Good, yeah.”

 

“Glad you could make it! Everyone’s boring as fuck here tonight!”

 

“Now now Zaynie-bear, don’t be so rude about your colleagues and superiors. Who else is here then?”

 

“A better question would be who isn’t here darling!” Zayn puts on his best posh voice, all traces of his Northern accent gone. Louis finds it kind of unnerving how quickly and easily Zayn travels between polished and unpolished, how his life is such a performance.

 

“Joy.” Louis fakes a yawn.

 

“You should be thanking me!”

 

“I know, and I am. You know I’m very grateful, yeah?”

 

“Yeah, sure. Okay, let’s go in.”

 

“Walk, walk fashion baby, work it-” Louis starts to sing before Zayn rudely cuts him off.

 

“Louis?” he says in a fake sweet voice.

 

“Mmm?”

 

“Stop.”

 

“Could be worse, maybe I’ll do some vogue-ing on the dance floor!”

 

“Please don’t.”

 

-

 

Zayn vanishes about two minutes after they’ve entered the party. Louis isn’t bothered, just goes to the bar to get a long drink. The drink’s mainly to pose with. It’s a prop, really, for some reason it works far better to enter into potentially important conversations and introductions to potentially important people with a drink in one’s hand in order to keep the semblance that this is all very informal and celebratory and not at all just a glorified meeting of sorts. He’s been in the industry for several years now, and still Louis finds it odd how so much of it is an elaborate show. Like, maybe that goes without saying considering it’s fashion, but for some reason a part of Louis had always assumed there was less smoke and mirrors from the inside. There isn’t.

 

Louis’ engaged in conversation with a photographer about various endorsement deals. Louis isn’t sure who this person thinks he is, or even who this person is, but he keeps a smile on his face and gratefully exchanges business cards. He feels like such a fraud such a lot of the time, but it doesn’t really bother him any more as it means he gets to do what he loves to do for a living.

 

Zayn finds him again half an hour later, and makes it his mission to introduce Louis to everyone he knows at the party. They’re all reasonably nice and ridiculously striking and Louis is interested to note the way Zayn gets all fluttery and nervous around an up and coming designer he introduces as Liam. They make their way to the corner of the room and Zayn introduces Louis to more beautiful people whose names Louis tries to keep track of. He thinks they’re just about finished, but then he finds himself face to face with a face he’s been close to quite a few times over the last week.

 

“Harry, this is Louis Tomlinson. Great make up artist, been best friends with him since school. Lou, this is Harry Styles. Good friend of mine, we worked together a lot back in the day with GAP Kids and he’s probably my oldest industry friend apart from you or- oh, you know each other already?”

 

“No, lovely to meet you Louis, I-”

 

“Are you joking?”

 

“No I- what do you mean?”

 

“I mean are you pretending not to recognize me or are you truly so self absorbed that you can’t even recall the face of the person who did your fucking make up today, yesterday, and Tuesday?” Louis should probably be more tactful and polite given that this is kind of a work party and he really can’t afford to make any enemies, but- but this is kind of completely outrageous and he wants to expose Harry Styles to Zayn and the others as the rude person he is.

 

“Oh- oh fuck. Yeah, I’m really sorry and I-” Harry stutters.

 

“And you have more important faces to remember than the one who helps you get all pretty for the people you actually care about impressing, yeah I get it.” Louis says, raising an eyebrow and shaking his head. Unbelievable.

 

“No, it’s just-” Harry tries to explain,

 

“Look, it’s fine. You’re definitely not the first conceited model to inadvertently snub me, don’t you worry.” Louis Louis tells him, and a part of him wants to go full-on Made in Chelsea and throw what’s left of his vodka tonic in Harry’s stupid pretty face. He doesn’t, though. Instead, Louis walks away with his head held up high and a smile on his face as he introduces himself to the editor of Glamour.

 

-

 

Louis spends most of his well earned day off the next day lying around in the living room with his flatmate Niall watching Friends, getting high, and eating biscuits. There’s an alarming moment when Niall realizes that he literally is Phoebe, down to the laying on the floor, the onesie and straw and the whole “I don’t even have a pla!” thing. Niall decides that Louis is Rachel because he works kind of in fashion.

 

“Know what though?” Louis asks, as the devastating pro/con list episode starts.

 

“What?” Niall asks.

 

“She shouldn’t have got off the plane.”

 

“Wow, controversial.”

 

“It shouldn’t be! Like Ross is a whiny pretentious idiot knobhead, and she picked him over her dream job in fucking Paris! Like honestly why? Why would you do that?” Louis has a lot of feelings about this.

 

“Love?”

 

“Bullshit. Rachel could do better. Besides, why can’t Ross go and live in Paris instead?”

 

“Hmm, fair enough. Strange, isn’t it, how like when you’re young you think it’s all like romance and shit and you’d give it all up for love and then you grow up and life is just… not like that?” Niall rambles.

 

“Yeah, like with High School Musical when you realize that Gabriella was right to put her dreams ahead of Troy.” Louis isn’t sure why HSM just came into his head, but that’s how it is.

 

“You ever been in love?” Niall asks.

 

“I don’t think so… like there were a few times I thought I was but I think I thought I loved my boyfriends just because they were my boyfriends and that’s what you’re supposed to do, y’know? Like I don’t think I loved them in a very true sense.”

 

“Yeah, like-”

 

Niall doesn’t get a chance to finish his sentence because then the doorbell goes off and Louis gets up to answer it.

 

It’s a delivery of flowers. For him. From Harry fucking Styles. There’s a note attached which simply reads:

 

_My apologies for any offence I may have caused last night._

_I’d love to meet over coffee so I can apologize properly in person._

_H.S (07492817894)_

 

There’s a part of Louis that wants to just chuck the flowers in the bin and take his lighter to the note. He doesn’t, though, because the flowers are pretty and Harry’s number could be useful one day. It seems that Harry now feels he owes Louis something, so it would be stupid not to hold onto a potential favour to use at a later date. Pottermore was definitely right, Louis is a Slytherin through and through.

 

-

 

Louis doesn’t cross paths with Harry Styles again for over a month, and all but forgets about their less than pleasant exchange in that time. It all sort of comes back to him when he finds himself face to face with Harry once again at Zayn’s Halloween party.

 

It’s strange for Louis being around so many people he’s worked with and for in what is this time a purely social context. This party is an annual tradition of Zayn’s and he only invites people he’s actually friends with. There’s a strange mixture of models, people Zayn went to uni with, and some of his family. Zayn’s a good judge of character, and Louis always has a good time at his parties. Which is why he’s very confused by Harry Styles’ presence. He hadn’t realised they were actual friends and not merely casual acquaintances and he isn’t sure how he feels about it. Louis supposes Harry must just be less of a wanker to people he thinks are worth his time.

 

Louis’ brought Niall along with him this year, and he thinks they’re in with a really good chance of winning the costume contest. Niall is the Tinkerbell to Louis’ Peter Pan. Currently Niall’s at the bar getting them drinks and Louis had been on the hunt for Zayn to announce his presence.  He’d found him eventually, sitting on one of the sofas in the middle of the room talking to a group of people including Liam- who is apparently his boyfriend now- and none other than Harry Styles. Why does everything feel so eerily similar to September’s LFW party?

 

“Hiya Zaynie, your favourite person has arrived!” Louis says exuberantly, pointedly ignoring Harry.

 

“Really? Where are they?!” Zayn asks, pretending to squint off into the distance. Louis puts a hand on his hip and pouts until Zayn laughs and pats his head affectionately. No one says anything for a moment, and it’s Harry who breaks the silence.

 

“Hello Louis!” he says, and it’s kind of overenthusiastic and Louis bites his lip to stop himself from pointing this out. Harry’s trying and Louis really should be a bit more forgiving.

 

“Hello Harry,” Louis replies, and because he has always had trouble keeping his mouth shut and can hold a grudge like no one else Louis goes on to say, “I’m impressed that you remembered my name to be honest with you, especially considering I’m just the help or some shit.” Louis looks at Zayn and Liam first, they both look simultaneously awkward and amused, clearly debating whether to stay and watch or get the hell away from this situation. They decide on the latter and Louis fixes his stare onto a flustered Harry.

 

“Louis, I told you I was so sorry and I’m so embarrassed by my behaviour that week and if I could just explain-”

 

“It’s fine Harry, I don’t need to hear your excuses.” Louis says, looking around to see if he can see Niall so he has an excuse to leave this conversation.

 

“But you’re clearly still pissed off so I just feel like we should talk about it and clear the air. I hate the thought of you thinking so badly of me and I want to make it up to you.”

 

“Harry, I’m a classic Capricorn.”

 

“What does that mean?”

 

“It means letting go is not in my vocabulary. I’m a stubborn goat.” Louis explains flatly, crossing his arms although he can sort of feel a lot of his resentment against Harry trickling away in the wake of Harry’s obvious regret and determination to make amends. Maybe he’d just got Harry on a really bad week or something.

 

“Okay, well can I at least get the chance to change your current stance on me? You can remind me of how much of a shit I was as much as you like, just as long as I get the chance to show you that’s not all I am?” Harry asks, biting his lip nervously.

 

“Why does this matter to you so much?” Louis frowns.

 

“It matters because I’ve always prided myself on being nice and I was not nice or polite to you and like, I know it’s stupid but I think about it a lot- like it’s what I think about when I go to bed, that big, crippling stupid thing I did that just won’t go away. Know what I mean?”

 

“Yeah, I get it.” Louis nods. It does make sense after all, everyone has memories like that where you can’t sleep thinking about how shit you were one time.

 

“Okay, good. So can I get you a drink now Louis?” Harry smiles his charming smile and Louis has to make a conscious effort not to be charmed.

 

“Alright then, think my friend was supposed to get me one but he’s gone missing so I suppose you’ll do.” Louis replies unenthusiastically, he’s not going to make it easy for Harry, that’s for sure.

 

“Fantastic!” Louis is almost endeared by Harry’s enthusiasm. Almost.  

 

-

 

By the end of the night, Louis finds himself more than endeared by Harry. He thinks he might actually sort like him, and is honestly a bit annoyed about that. He doesn’t want to like the model who was so rude to his make up artist that time. Louis just really hopes Harry wasn’t lying about it being a one-off thing that was about things going on in his life and isn’t just the way he always treats people. A part of Louis wants to ask Harry what had happened to put him in such a weird mood for the duration of fashion week, but it feels far too soon to delve deep.

 

Louis gets a taxi back to his flat with Niall, who he’d eventually found during the last hour of the party doing tequila shots from some ridiculously fit male model’s belly button. Niall lives a charmed life, he really does.

 

-

 

The next time Louis sees Harry is at a shoot in January. Louis’ been assigned to do the male model’s make up on a shoot Harry also happens to be working on. Excitingly enough it’s for Liam’s first big line, and there’s such a buzz and sense of community around the whole setup. Louis’ met Liam a couple of times now when hanging out with Zayn and Niall too, and he really likes him and is excited about the prospect of helping to create the looks that will hopefully help him make the big splash he’s so determined to make in the fashion world.

 

“Fancy seeing you here!” Harry says with a grin as he sits in the make up chair.

 

“Hello Henry.” Louis replies, tickling Harry’s face with a clean powder brush before getting to work and priming him.

 

They don’t talk all that much, just exchange increasingly worse classic jokes every now and then. Harry laughs louder than anyone probably ever has at “My dog’s got no nose” and Louis giggles like a child at the way Harry tells the shark infested custard joke. It’s nice. Louis gives Harry the smoky eyes and feather art Liam had requested and puts thick black lipstick on his lips.

 

“How do I look?” Harry asks when Louis’ finished with him. Louis stands back and admires his work for a moment before carefully assessing him and replying.

 

“Like the lovechild of Raven and an actual raven.” Louis says thoughtfully.

 

“Raven as in The Way of the Warrior Raven?” Harry asks in a horrible Scottish accent.

 

“Of course!” Louis laughs, glad that Harry had picked up on his reference to the CBBC show of his childhood.

 

“Wonder if that was what Li was going for when he started planning out this shoot,” Harry muses.

 

“Probably. Maybe he had a thing for Raven back in the day or something. When you think about it maybe that also explains his thing for Batman- just can’t get enough of men dressed all in black who kind of fly!”

 

“Better let Zayn know. He can buy more black clothes and maybe get started on the whole flying thing as a Valentines present next month.”

 

“How romantic.” Louis comments, then sprays Harry’s face with fixative spray one last time before hurrying him out of the chair so he can start on the make up of the next model in the line.

 

Once Louis’ finished making all the male models up, he packs the majority of his kit away and watches the photo shoot from a chair in the corner beside Liam. Liam’s trying not to get too fidgety or fussy about how his clothes are looking on the models and whether or not he made the right choice of creative director and photographer, so Louis’ doing his best to distract him between touch-ups. Right now, Louis’ grilling Liam on his Raven fetish and Liam seems equal parts confused and amused. Apparently Liam was more of a CITV kid and Louis isn’t sure how he feels about that. He’s probably an X Factor person as well. Gross. As a general rule, Louis mistrusts people who prefer ITV to BBC.

 

“You at least watched Tracy Beaker though?” Louis asks Liam. Louis is something of a connoisseur of children’s TV programs, as even after he’d in theory outgrown them he had little sisters who hadn’t.

 

“The one with the hair? Girl was on Strictly Come Dancing a couple of years ago?” Okay good, Liam can continue being Louis’ friend.

 

“Yeah- like they were always telling each other to BOG OFF!! Ooh and the Wellards! They were Welsh goth kids- d’you get the joke in their name, like they’re well ‘ard? Anyway so like the boy was secretly really nice despite the flame bandana, his name was Rio and he liked Maroon 5 and the dude who played him was in that cool film Alex Turner did the music for?”

 

“Submarine?” Liam suggests.

 

“Yeah that’s the one! The one with the girl who was in The Sarah Jane Adventures I think and she was all ‘I set fires to feel joy’…. Oh wait no, that was Pitch Perfect and-” Louis is cut off when he realises he’s talking quite loudly and that he has an audience.  Zayn and Harry are the ones about to be photographed but they appear to be concentrating more on Louis and Liam’s conversation than on the cameras in front of them.

 

Zayn’s offering Liam apologetic looks and Harry’s smiling really widely and humming the cup song.

 

Louis should probably apologise to the director of the shoot for being such a distraction but like… he can’t help that he’s hilarious can he? Louis prides himself on his ability to make every situation at least somewhat entertaining- he’d even managed to make a trip to the STI clinic fun once. The director is not looking happy though. And Louis does not want this to be his last job, so he quietens down and gets his phone out to play Temple Run until he’s needed again.

 

-

 

The shoot finishes at about half six, and Louis finds himself accepting an invitation back to Liam’s with Zayn and Harry. Conversation and laughter flow easily between the four of them in the back of the large taxi, and Louis finds himself admitting in his head to being completely and utterly now won over by Harry Styles. All is forgiven.

 

When they get to Liam’s, Louis messages Niall to come and join them while Zayn orders food for them all. Liam hands out low fat beers from the fridge and then the four of them go into the living room to watch TV while they wait for Niall and their food. Louis is sitting on the sofa sharing a packet of Pom Bears with Harry as Kim cries on the TV about her diamond earring falling off in the ocean. An iconic episode.

 

It must all look quite surreal when Niall arrives. Zayn and Harry haven’t yet removed their make up and the episode where Kim is about to expose Taylor Swift is about to start to there’s an almost deathly silence in the room as everyone waits for Kim to mention the footage.  There are also bits of paper and fabric samples scattered everywhere, and Liam’s puppy is lying asleep in the middle of the room dressed in a black cape. Niall doesn’t seem to think anything out of the ordinary is happening, though. He just sits on the floor with is back against the sofa Louis and Harry are sitting on and accepts the beer Liam brought in for him.

 

“How did it go today then?” Niall asks when an ad break starts.

 

“Well much like Kim exposed Taylor as a liar, Harold and I today exposed Liam as a person with a black feather and wing kink,” Louis replies, stretching out on the sofa and putting his feet in Harry’s lap. They’re friends now, Louis has decided.

 

“Sounds interesting. The feathers suit you, Zayn. You too- Harry, right?” Niall says looking around the room. Louis had forgotten that this is the first time Niall’s met Harry. Harry nods and reaches across Louis to shake hands with Niall so they can introduce themselves more properly. Louis thinks about making a comment about how Harry’s making a much better first impression on Niall than he did on him but decides against it, he’s going to let the past stay in the past.

 

-

 

Louis leaves Liam’s house at around midnight with Harry. Niall isn’t there to walk back with him because he’s recently been given a slot on late night radio and so had had to leave to go to work an hour before. Harry apparently lives quite close to Louis so they’d naturally decided to keep each other company walking back.

 

The streets are surprisingly quiet and so, to his own surprise, is Louis. Harry’s rambling about a documentary he watched the other night about penguins and Louis is completely enthralled in everything that he’s saying. There’s just something about Harry’s voice, something about how genuinely interested and passionate he is about the things he’s talking about. There’s something about the way he giggles slightly at his own jokes and the way his eyes seem to almost light up when Louis finds himself laughing too. There’s just something about Harry Styles and Louis is still kind of confused about how he’d misjudged him and about why he was the way he was when they’d first met. The Harry he’s getting to know now is worlds away from the Harry who’d ignored his make up artist entirely, and that puzzles Louis.

 

Harry’s stopped talking and their walking has slowed to a halt. They’re walking past a children’s park, and Louis finds himself suggesting they go in and go on the swings.

 

Maybe the sensation of almost flying through the night air is what causes it. Maybe it’s just Harry’s delightful exhilarated giggle as he flies right beside Louis. Maybe it happens just because. Louis jumps off his swing, catches Harry’s, and then leans down to kiss him. It’s a soft, tentative kiss. It’s special, though. All Louis can feel when they gently pull away from each other are butterflies. He feels slightly breathless, slightly dizzy, and also oddly calm.

 

Harry gets off the swing and takes Louis’ hand. They walk out of the park together in in a comfortable silence.

 

“Harry?” Louis asks when they’re getting closer to his block of flats.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“I was just wondering, like, why were you like that when we first met? I know I don’t know you well, but from what I’ve seen of you since then it just- it just seems like you were really out of character that time, and I was just like, wondering why.” Louis isn’t sure now is the best time to ask, but he also feels like if he doesn’t ask now he’ll just carry on wondering and it will drive him a little bit crazy.

 

“Yeah I um, wondered when you’d ask that.” Harry says, looking at his feet.

 

“Sorry. You like… you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” Louis says gently.

 

“No, I want to,” Harry argues. “Okay, well basically I was just going through a bit of a thing where I hated everything about my job. Like… I was just hating everything and couldn’t stop thinking about how trapped I sometimes feel in it and how empty it all is and how I’ve been doing it since I was fourteen and it’s just… not what I want any more. But I really shouldn’t have been like that to you, and I hate myself a bit for it because up until then I’d managed to keep the promise I’d made myself back at the start that I’d always be polite to everyone I worked with, learn names and shit. And I just… I failed so enormously at that with you and then I felt so awful about it after, like you calling me out at that party was so completely deserved and I’m so sorry, okay?” Harry says it all so earnestly and he looks so upset by it that Louis can’t help but pull him into a tight hug.

 

“It’s okay,” Louis says when they let go of each other, “I was just curious, and I’m sorry I got so stroppy about it. Always had trouble biting my tongue and stuff, you know?”

 

Harry laughs in reply and raises an eyebrow. Louis swats him playfully and pretends to frown at him. It strikes him how comfortable he feels, how it’s almost disconcerting the way he feels like he’s known and liked Harry for much longer than he actually has.

 

“D’you want to talk about the bad shit, though? About how you hate your job and stuff? I’m a good listener, surprisingly.”

 

“I know you are. And yeah, I will talk about it soon. Not tonight, but definitely soon.”

 

“Want to talk about or not talk about it over a drink next week?” Louis suggests.

 

“Alright, yeah, it’s a date.” Harry replies, then looks slightly worried, presumably in case Louis doesn’t see it that way. Luckily, Louis is very much on the same page.

 

“Oooh a date! I’ll make sure to wear my shiniest shoes!”

 

“I can’t wait,” Harry says with a laugh.

 

They cross the road and then swap phone numbers and a quick goodnight kiss before walking in opposite directions to their own homes.

 

-

 

The week that follows is a busy one, and Louis barely has time to maintain his 3-step skincare routine, let alone dedicate precious waking hours to thinking about and texting Harry. Somehow, though, he finds the time. Harry likes to send Louis random snippets of his day, things he’s overheard that he thinks Louis will find funny, pictures of the highlights and lowlights of the various things he’s having to do and wear for work, and, of course, terrible jokes. Louis in return likes to send Harry pictures of his own make up for the day, his daily cinnamon lattes, pictures of the people he’s making up on the off-chance that Harry has maybe met them before, and, of course, hilarious jokes.

 

At night, Louis lies awake thinking about what it would be like to spend more time with Harry in person, and sometimes he even lets himself wonder what it would be like to be Harry’s boyfriend. Amazing. That’s what it would be like. Louis knows he’s getting ahead of himself, but he’s pretty sure this is all standard behaviour when you really fancy someone and he isn’t ashamed to admit that he really fancies Harry. This is pretty much the first time Louis’ ever gone back on a negative first impression, and he likes harry too much to be annoyed at him for making him break his own (admittedly slightly ruthless) rules.

 

They’re meeting tonight at a bar that’s pretty much just five minutes walk from both of their flats. Louis is unbelievably excited to see Harry again and only a tiny bit nervous.

 

“What are you going to wear then?” Niall asks Louis, walking into his room unannounced and carrying a bowl of chicken nuggets as Louis stands in front of his wide open wardrobe in just his underwear having a minor freak out.

 

“If I knew that, Niall, I’d be wearing it!” he says, exasperated.

 

“Okay, sorry. What’s the problem then?” Niall asks, putting a chicken nugget in his mouth.

 

“He’s a model!”

 

“So? You spend loads of time with models, you never freak out about what to wear before we go and meet Zayn!”

 

“I don’t fancy Zayn! And when Zayn’s not being a model he dresses like a total nerd anyway.” Louis says, rolling his eyes and stealing one of Niall’s chicken nuggets.

 

“How d’you know Harry won’t show up wearing a Marvel T shirt and UGGs then?” Niall asks with his mouth full.

 

“First of all: UGGs are stylish and I will defend them until I die. Second of all: Harry is very stylish, trust me- his last name is Styles!” in spite of everything, Louis manages to make himself laugh. Niall groans.

 

“Louis, you always look fantastic. And if your clothes let you down at least you’ll know your make up has been applied by a professional.”

 

“True. I can make my face look pretty at least.”

 

“You can! Look, Lou, I saw the way you were together at Liam’s that time and I’ve seen the way you’re constantly texting and constantly smiling: it will be fine even if you show up wearing a McKenzie tracksuit!” Niall exclaims, flopping down on Louis’ bed.

 

“Aaah McKenzie, what a throwback.” Louis says dreamily before shuddering. The less said about various teenage fashion choices, the better.

 

-

 

In the end, Louis decides to wear a smart burgundy shirt with little polka dots, his favourite black skinny jeans, and, as promised, his shiniest shoes. He goes for a mostly natural look with his make up, but brushes a little glitter powder onto his cheekbones both to highlight and add a bit of sparkle.

 

Harry gets to the bar before him, he’s sitting there looking beautiful when Louis walks in. Louis tummy does a happy little somersault as he approaches him.

 

“You look gorgeous, Lou!” Harry says, getting up from his seat and greeting Louis with a kiss on the cheek and quick hug. Louis feels all giggly and tipsy and happy just from that one second of contact and he hasn’t even had a drink yet. He has it really bad for Harry Styles.

 

“So do you!” Louis replies, looking at Harry appreciatively. He’s wearing jeans that are possibly even skinnier than Louis’ with a mostly unbuttoned floral shirt. His hair is down, falling in the most beautiful ringlets at his shoulders, and Louis can tell he’s wearing a bit of mascara and has definitely filled in his brows. He looks like a work of art.

 

“It’s really great to see you again,” Harry says, pulling Louis in for another hug and kiss before they sit down. Louis thinks his face might break he’s smiling so much.

 

Harry buys the first round of drinks, and as he’s at the bar all Louis can do is watch and wait and wonder how all of this happened so much and so fast. He just… he just really really likes Harry. And Louis hasn’t really really liked anybody in a long time. He just… Louis just kind of has a feeling about this. And he’s not about to say it or even think it properly, but it’s definitely a feeling and it’s definitely a very good one.

 

As the night goes on, Louis’ definitely very good feeling does nothing but intensify. There’s just something so perfect about being there with Harry, something about the way it feels like he’s always known him. They’re just kind of on the same level, Louis supposes. Louis has loads of friends and has been in a fair few romantic relationships, but never before has he felt such an immediate click, such a pull, such a spark. There’s just something ever so easy about talking to Harry, he’s learning all these new and lovely things about him as they chat but it feels like on some level he already knows him. There’s this undeniable ease to it all, it’s exciting but it’s also incredibly safe and like returning home after being gone for far too long. Louis doesn’t know how exactly to describe it other than that.

 

-

 

On Louis’ second date with Harry, they go to the cinema and miss the majority of the film because they’re too busy kissing in the back row. On their third date, they go to a museum and then have afternoon tea in the café there. After their fourth date, they have sex with each other for the first time and Louis stays overnight at Harry’s. On their fifth date Harry takes at least a million and one photos of them giggling and kissing and waking up together. Their seventh date is a double date at the bowling alley with Liam and Zayn, they pretend like they’re fourteen and it’s one of the most fun dates Louis thinks he’s ever been on. On their tenth date Harry asks Louis to be his boyfriend, and after that Louis starts losing count of how many dates they go on. All he knows is that it’s a lot and that being Harry’s boyfriend is fantastic.

 

-

 

Louis gets into his first proper argument with Harry when they’ve been together for a little over three months. Harry’s been complaining about his job for ages now, and Louis’ finally sick of it.

 

“So why don’t you just quit? No one’s forcing you to renew your contract at the end of the year, and you’re young and rich enough to pursue something else. If it’s making you so fucking miserable, Harry, why are you still doing it?” Louis asks, exasperated one night at his as Harry’s spent most of the meal complaining about his day.

 

“You say that like it’s so simple! It isn’t!” Harry snaps, and starts clearing the table in a really passive aggressive manner.

 

“It is simple! I’m not saying it would be easy, but I am saying it’s not that complex. If you don’t like what you’re doing, just stop doing it!”

 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Louis.”

 

“I do, actually. I may only be a fucking make up artist to you, but trust me when I say I know what I’m talking about here!”

 

“Well I don’t. And stop acting like I look down on you because you’re a make up artist when you know that is not even remotely true! It wasn’t true when we first met and it isn’t true now!”

 

“It is!”

 

“It isn’t! The thing is, I- look, I’m just going to go now. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Harry says, getting up.

 

“Oh okay, I get it. You’re too scared to leave your fucking job you hate, but you’ll happily leave me even though I’m only trying to-”

 

“Shut up Louis, I’m not fucking leaving you. I’m just going home because I really don’t want to fight right now, I’m tired and I have to be up really early so just… just let me go. We’ll talk tomorrow.” Harry says wearily, making his way to the door.

 

“Fine.” Louis scowls, absolutely hating how stupidly patronising and self-righteous Harry’s tone sounds to him.

 

“Fine.” Harry replies, slamming the door behind him.

 

Louis calmly and quietly clears up from their dinner, and then gets in the shower. He cleans himself without really feeling anything at all, then puts on a big jumper and crawls into bed. It’s only when he realises that the jumper belongs to Harry that Louis starts crying.

 

-

 

Louis is woken up at half past five the next morning with a phone call from Lou, a make up artist he’s worked with only once or twice before. She’s in a panic because one of her team called in sick last minute and she desperately needs Louis to fill in for a shoot that morning. The money sounds good and Louis needs a distraction from the disaster of the night before so he quickly agrees to be at the address she gives him in just over an hour.

 

Had Louis known who one of the models he’d be making up was, he would maybe have reconsidered Lou’s offer.

 

“Louis…” Harry says slowly, turning around in his chair having seen Louis first through the mirror in front of him. Fuck.

 

“Harry.”

 

“I didn’t know you’d be here,” Harry says stiffly.

 

“I didn’t know you’d be here either, took this job last minute just this morning.” Louis says, though he’s not sure why he feels like he owes Harry an explanation.

 

“Oh.”

 

“Okay, let’s get on with this then.” Louis says unenthusiastically. He’s still feeling upset and annoyed at Harry from the other night, he’s definitely not ready to talk or argue again just yet.

 

Harry doesn’t say anything while Louis does his make up. Louis doesn’t speak either and the air feels really thick with everything they aren’t saying.

 

-

 

As the shoot properly begins, Louis stays in the background. He doesn’t look at the models or what’s going on this time. He’s not in the mood to do anything other than make up and make small talk with Lou. He’s just feeling down and there are too many thoughts going round in his head and something about being in the same room as Harry and having both nothing and everything to say to him makes Louis ache so so much.

 

He looks briefly in the direction of the shoot and spots Harry straight away. Harry’s looking at him too, and it looks like he isn’t supposed to be. He overhears Harry getting told off for acting so distracted. Harry apologises and then turns away, seeming to get himself finally properly in the right mindset.

 

-

 

Harry waits for Louis to finish packing his supplies away and they leave the studio together in silence. Louis is now resigned to the fact that the conversation he’s a little bit nervous to have is going to happen. Being near Harry without talking to him or touching him or even looking at him properly is really hard.

 

They go to Harry’s flat together and Harry puts the kettle on to make them each a cup of tea.

 

“Thanks,” Louis mumbles, accepting the mug Harry offers him.

 

They sip their tea quietly while facing each other at the kitchen table. Harry is the first one to speak.

 

“I’m really sorry about last night, Lou.” Harry says, looking at Louis with so much sincerity and intensity that a part of Louis wants to just leave it all right there and not talk any more about the argument they’d had. Harry is just… he’s just so much. And Louis likes him so much. And it’s so hard to stay annoyed.

 

“I’m sorry too, there are things I said that I shouldn’t have said.” Louis replies, knowing that a lot of what he’d said was out of line but that some of it definitely wasn’t. Luckily, Harry now seems to accept that.

 

“You were right, though. It is stupid of me to act like I’m stuck in my job when I’m not, and I can see how frustrating it must be for you to see me so grumpy and stuff.”

 

“Babe, you’re allowed to be grumpy. It’s just that it doesn’t make a lot of sense to be grumpy about something for so long that you can do something about, you know?”

 

“Yeah, I know. It’s just… I’m just scared.”

 

“Yeah, it is scary to give up everything you’ve known, and it is scary to try and find something else. I do get it, Haz. D’you want to tell me what you’re scared about?” Louis asks gently, patting Harry’s hand from across the table. Harry smiles softly at him.

 

“I’m scared that I’m not good enough to do anything else, and I’m scared of what you’ll think of me if I fail at something else.” Harry says, biting his lip and looking away.

 

“I’m sure you’re good enough to do whatever you want to do, baby. And you have no way of knowing until you try. And… and I would never think of you as a failure, surely you know that? I- I really- Harry, I love you and I’ll support you no matter what, success or failure. Whatever you need, okay? I love you and I’m not going anywhere and you have nothing to be scared of when it comes to me.”

 

“You love me?”

 

“Yeah. I do.”

 

“I love you too, Lou. So much. So much it sort of scares me. I think… I think the way you’re doing what you always wanted to do with make up and stuff intimidates me a bit. I just… I feel like you have all this passion and drive and that sooner or later you’ll realise I lack that and that there’s nothing sparkly about me and… and then you won’t want me any more.”

 

“Babe, you shine so bright. Please don’t think things like that about yourself, I can’t imagine ever not wanting you. I know it hasn’t been all that long, but I really do… I really do love you ever so much, whatever you do or don’t do, whether you feel lost or whatever. I just… I just love you, and I’m going nowhere.”

 

They both get up from the table at the same time and find their way into each other’s arms. Louis buries his face into Harry’s chest and Harry rests his chin on Louis’ shoulder as he pulls him closer. It’s a healing kind of embrace, and Louis feels alright for the first time in a while. He hadn’t realised how long he’d been worrying about the unspoken things between himself and Harry, and he hadn’t realised quite how worried he sort of was about his boyfriend.

 

-

 

Louis wakes up the next morning spooning Harry, arms wrapped around his middle and nose buried in his lovely soft curls. Harry snores gently and Louis just lays there in silence, enjoying how soft and gentle everything feels, how right it all is.

 

Neither has work the next day, so Louis waits for Harry to wake up while he goes into the kitchen to make tea. Harry comes into the kitchen just as Louis’ stirring the milk into Harry’s cup. Harry’s arms wrap around Louis and Louis leans back into the embrace, Harry kisses the top of Louis’ head and Louis sighs happily. They’ve had many mornings like this, but there’s something very special about this morning in particular.

 

“Love you.” Harry mutters into Louis’ hair.

 

“Love you too,” Louis replies, turning around so they’re now face to face. He stands on his tiptoes and kisses Harry.

 

The tea remains forgotten on the kitchen counter for most of the morning.

 

-

 

“Haz?” Louis asks as the two of them eat a late lunch together, the afternoon sunlight bathing the kitchen in warmth and making everything even rosier and more special than it already is.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Did I ever tell you I’m a qualified bricklayer?” Louis asks, putting his knife and fork down as he finishes eating. Harry looks taken aback and splutters around his last mouthful of sausage. Louis wants to make a million dirty jokes about that, but instead gets up and to get Harry a glass of water.

 

“You’re a qualified bricklayer? Like, I’m sorry Lou but are you joking?” Harry asks, puzzled.

 

“Shockingly, I’m actually not joking!” Louis laughs, “When I was sixteen and leaving school I knew I didn’t want to do A Levels so I went and got a BTEC diploma in bricklaying and construction instead- got a distinction too!”

 

“Can I ask why?”

 

“You can. The reason why was that I was too fucking scared and stupid to do the thing I really wanted to do at the time.”

 

“Make up?” Harry guesses, Louis nods.

 

“Yup. There was a hair and beauty course I wanted to take, but I went with bricklaying instead!”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because I was already pretty much every gay stereotype in the book, and I am and was honestly proud of that, but at the time I just… part of it was I just didn’t want to be that flamboyant gay boy doing make up with all the girls on top of everything else, y’know? Like looking back I know that that side of things was mostly just residual internalised homophobia to an extent but… but there was also definitely an element of me being too scared to try doing something I really loved doing as a course and then as a career, it just seemed so unreachable and so ambitious and I just didn’t want to try and then find myself a complete failure.” Louis explains, still unable to think back to that time without wishing he could go back and tell his teenage self there was nothing to be scared, ashamed, or apprehensive about. He wishes he could tell his past self, and any and all other people like him that it isn’t their fault certain stereotypes exist and that there’s no shame in fitting them or not fitting them at all.

 

“Aw babe, I want to go back in time and give 16 year old Lou a big cuddle and tell him to pursue his dreams! What changed?” Harry says softly, taking Louis’ hand.

 

“Well I got my diploma thing, and then I was just like ‘okay this is fucking stupid I’m not going to be a builder, why the fuck did my mum let me lie to myself like this?’ So I asked her and she just said something about letting me make my own mistakes and then she got my laptop out and made me email my portfolio lookbook thing to various make up academies and colleges and… and I got in and here I am now!” Louis says cheerfully.

 

“Here you are now. I’m so glad you’re here now!” Harry tells him, squeezing his hand and then reaching across the table to kiss him sweetly on the cheek.

 

“D’you get what I’m trying to say, though?” Louis asks a moment later, serious again and determined that his message sink in somehow.

 

“Yeah, think so. You’re saying that if I or anyone I know ever need to get an extension or a patio, you’re the one to ask!” Harry teases.

 

“No! Well, yeah, kind of. But you know that’s not what I meant.”

 

“I know what you meant, babe. You mean that you let your fear of failure put you off from doing things you wanted to do and that when you realised that, you took the plunge and made the right changes and it all worked out.”

 

“Yes. I just… you can do anything, Haz. I hate the thought of you feeling trapped in a life and career you no longer want just because of decisions you made when you were like sixteen too.” Louis brushes a tear from Harry’s cheek and tucks a ringlet behind his ear.

 

“Thank you, Lou. I…” Harry begins after a moment’s silence.

 

“You?” Louis prompts him.

 

“Okay, um- well I do know what it is I want to do and um… promise you won’t laugh?”

 

“I won’t laugh, what is it?”

 

“Photography, I- you’re laughing!” Harry frowns slightly.

 

“I’m laughing because I know that, Harry. You’re always taking the most beautiful photos and honestly being with you is like having a constant paparazzi in my face. I love it, and I love you, and I love your photography.”

 

“Oh. Well what do you think I should do?” Harry asks, taken aback.

 

“Well first of all I think you need to un-private your Instagram so that everyone can see how talented you are. And then I think you need to realise how strong a position you are in if you want to go into photography, especially considering it’s people you like to photograph! You’re in an adjacent industry, you know people, you’ve got your foot in the door already.” Louis tells him. There’s more he could say, but he’s pretty sure Harry knows it all anyway, that they can talk about it another time, and that Harry will find a way to figure it all out.

 

“Yeah, I… I don’t know why I never really looked at it that way.” Harry admits.

 

“You can do it, Harry. You’ll be fantastic.”

 

“I… I want to believe you so badly.”

 

“You’d better believe me! With only one exception in the history of my life, I am always right.”

 

“What’s the one exception? The builder thing?”

 

“Fuck no! I was an excellent if somewhat unenthusiastic builder, thank you very much! No, the one exception is the time I was wrong about you.”

 

“Oh yeah. You thought I was a knob when we first met.”

 

“I still think you’re a knob! No, I thought you were a snobby, elitist, narcissistic knob.”

 

“It’s like Pride and Prejudice.”

 

“So it is! You’re my Mr. Darcy and I’m your Elizabeth Bennett. How romantic!”

 

“You wanna dress up as them for Zayn’s next Halloween party?”

 

“Oh my god absolutely! Only if you’re in the Colin Firth wet shirt though, yeah?”

 

“You’re the worst!”

 

“I’m the best!”

 

“I know and I love you…” Harry says, then pauses for a moment as though considering what to say next. He then stiffens his posture and schools his face into the classic constipated Darcy before going on to quote: ““In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you!””

 

Louis mimes swooning and lies dramatically across Harry’s lap. Unfortunately, he’s sitting on a kitchen chair so both end up toppling off and onto the floor. It’s still perfect.

 

-

 

The next time Louis distracts Harry during a shoot, it’s because there’s an irrepressible part of Harry that will always choose taking photos of Louis over anyone else.


End file.
